My Kid Comes Back From Visitation Angry at Me

 Posted on November 30, 2025 in Child Custody

Your child spends the weekend with your ex. When they come home, they are hostile, distant, or outright angry at you. They snap at simple requests, refuse to talk, or say things that sound nothing like them. This pattern repeats after every visit. You know something is wrong, but figuring out what and how to fix it feels impossible.

Sound familiar? It’s not just you. Children returning angry from visitation is a common but serious problem that demands attention. The anger might stem from normal adjustment struggles, or it could signal something more serious like parental coaching or alienation. Our Dane County child custody attorney can help you figure out what to do next. 

Why Do Kids Get Angry After Visitation?

Multiple factors can cause post-visitation anger. Not all of them mean your ex is doing something wrong, but all of them need to be addressed. 

Disruption from switching homes creates stress for some children.

Going back and forth between two households with different rules, schedules, and expectations is hard. The anger you see might be their way of expressing frustration about having no control over where they live and when.

Sadness about the divorce often manifests as anger.

Children grieve the loss of their intact family. They might direct anger at you simply because you are there when those feelings surface, not because you did anything wrong. Guilt about enjoying time with the other parent can make kids act out. Different parenting styles cause confusion and resentment. If your ex has no rules while you maintain structure, coming back to your house feels like punishment.

Your child is being exposed to parental alienation tactics.

Parental alienation is when one parent systematically damages the child's relationship with the other parent. This goes beyond occasional negative comments. It is a pattern of behavior designed to turn the child against you.

What Does Parental Alienation Look Like?

Wisconsin courts recognize parental alienation as harmful to children and a factor in custody decisions under Wis. Stat. Section 767.41. Signs of alienation include your child suddenly rejecting you without a valid reason, repeating criticisms that sound like your ex talking, refusing to communicate or spend time with you, and showing no guilt about treating you badly.

Alienating parents tell children things about the divorce that children should not know. They commonly blame you for the divorce and paint themselves as the victim. They may undermine your authority by telling children they do not have to follow your rules.

How Do You Tell the Difference Between Normal Divorce Adjustment Issues and Alienation?

Normal adjustment issues improve with time and consistency. If your child is angry because transitions are hard, maintaining routines and giving them time to settle in after visits helps. The anger decreases as they adapt to the new family structure.

Alienation gets worse over time. Nothing you do improves the situation because the problem is not your parenting, but what is happening at the other house. With normal adjustment issues, children still show affection toward you sometimes. With alienation, every interaction becomes negative.

How Do You Prove Alienation in Court?

Winning a custody modification based on alienation requires more than your word against your ex's. You need concrete evidence of the pattern and its impact on your child. Your documentation creates the foundation. Detailed records showing statements your child has made, ways their behavior has changed, and the timing of these incidents near their visitation with the other parent can demonstrate the pattern of alienation.

Your attorney can help you get evidence together. If necessary, a guardian ad litem or child custody evaluator may be able to see alienation and testify about it to the judge in your case. 

Call a Dane County, WI Divorce and Child Custody Lawyer Today

If your child returns angry every time from visitation, this is something that needs to be addressed and not simply accepted. Contact John T. Fields & Associates, LLC at 608-729-3590 to discuss your custody situation. Our Madison, WI child custody attorney takes an aggressive, win-your-case approach to protecting parent-child relationships.