Managing Divorce With Very Young Kids in Wisconsin

 Posted on July 11, 2025 in Child Custody

Divorce presents special challenges when very young children are involved. Parents of toddlers and preschoolers often struggle with meeting their children’s needs while dealing with the stress and logistical issues of their divorce.

Children under five may not understand what divorce means, but they can sense tension, inconsistency, and emotional distress. The way you handle the process can significantly shape how your child adjusts both now and in the years ahead. If you are trying to navigate a divorce with young children, speak with an experienced and compassionate Madison, WI family law attorney for guidance.

What Very Young Children Need During Divorce

Very young kids rely on consistency and security. A parent’s touch, voice, and routine presence are their anchors in the world. During divorce, disruptions to those familiar patterns can trigger behavioral changes, regressions, or increased clinginess. At this age, children are also egocentric; they tend to interpret events as being about them. Without support, they may assume they caused the separation.

To support your child:

• Maintain regular routines for meals, bedtime, and daycare.

• Avoid visible conflict or emotionally charged discussions in front of your child.

• Use simple, calm language to explain changes in living arrangements or schedules.

• Reassure your child that both parents still love and care for them.

Creating a Parenting Plan That Works for Small Children

Wisconsin law encourages both parents to stay involved in a child’s life. However, when a child is very young, frequent short visits tend to be more developmentally appropriate than long separations. Your parenting plan should reflect your child’s age, attachment needs, and daily rhythms. For example, children under a year old may naturally need more time with their mother if they are breastfeeding than a child who is older and can eat independently. 

In Dane County, parenting plans for infants and toddlers might include:

• Multiple short visits per week to protect and build a bond with both parents.

• Overnight stays that increase in frequency as the child grows older.

• Protocols for hand-offs, feeding schedules, nap routines, and healthcare

While you and your co-parent may have different parenting styles, try to align on core routines and create a plan that minimizes disruptions. Whenever possible, the courts encourage parents to create a custody schedule on their own. If necessary, the court may appoint a Guardian ad Litem to advocate for your child’s best interests during the custody process.

When Communication Is Difficult During Divorce

Not all parents can easily co-parent after a separation, especially if the divorce is high-conflict. If direct communication causes stress or hostility, you can use written communication through co-parenting apps or third-party mediation. Family courts in Wisconsin may also order supervised visitation or therapeutic reunification if concerns about parenting ability or safety arise.

Even if your former partner is difficult, shielding your young child from adult conflict should remain your top priority. Children deserve to grow up without having to manage the emotional burdens of their parents’ separation.

Contact a Madison, WI Child Custody Lawyer

If you are divorcing with very young children, an experienced Dane County, WI divorce attorney at John T. Fields & Associates, LLC can help you create a parenting plan that protects your child’s development while securing your parental rights. Call 608-729-3590 to schedule a confidential consultation.